Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
