Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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