i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize