dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Randomize
