Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
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