I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Randomize
