bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Randomize
