I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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