She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
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