perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
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