Already got asked if we're dating
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
