Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Randomize
