That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
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