Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Randomize
