the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
Dignity is for republicans.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
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