Joe is yelling at the trees again.
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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