gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
