We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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