You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize
