Me. At least after what I've been through.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
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He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
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Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
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