she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
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