do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Randomize
