When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
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