so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Randomize
