omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Randomize
