maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
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