I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Randomize
