i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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