i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize
