All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Randomize
