my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
where does the pee come out of this thing
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
