my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize
