My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
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Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
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I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
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