K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
