Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
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