you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
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