You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
