my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
