Got a toothbrush?
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
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