So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Randomize
