I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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