this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
