Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Randomize