Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
