Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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