I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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