I hope mine doesn't look like that
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
please don't ironically join a cult
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