he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
