I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Randomize
