Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????