Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles