I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
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I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
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I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.