I want to make a zoo with you.
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
27 Common Occurrences Everyone Can Relate To But No One Talks About
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
21 People Intentionally Did Despicable Things During Sex
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.