Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
