No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Randomize
