Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
