worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
Randomize
