Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
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