wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
