Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize
