dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
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