We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
You're earring is so big in my mouth
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Randomize
