I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
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