Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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