he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
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